(please note: Frankfurter and Frankszonia are NOT the same ... Frankfurter is a relatively hysterical Frankfurt now occupied by Gallia but still theoretically sovereign, while Frankszonia is a somewhat larger state and more lugubrious state ...)
Amid the chaos of these times, we poor, small principalities seem to be destined to be plagued by swarms of alien warriors and brigands, despoiling our populace, stampeding our women folk, and raping our livestock. We ourselves are compelled to play host to foreign armies and to surrender our painfully gained material to them.
As such, it seems, we are powerless to extend any real assistance to our neighbors, though we are still able to provide excellent sausages and other supplies at reasonable prices (consult with the minister of trade: "Cut-me-own-throat Dibler).
Frankfurter, however, has determined to grasp the nettle and become a stabilizing force in the turbulence. As such, we are extending the benefits of good commercial guilds, communal protection, and access to the Gallian supply trade to the many miniscule little holdings which have long intruded into the obvious region of our responsibility.
The Hertzhog solomenly declares that this development is not imperialistic opportunism, but a genuine and generous patriotic decision to enhance the prestige and liberties of our fellow Deutsche autonomies ....
Meanwhile, however, we have a great blessing ... the Princess Stuftliana has delivered a healthy, sound lad, now proclaimed the Urpprinz Honker. A costume ball will be held sometime in the near future to celebrate this event ... we hope that it will be graced by some of the most illustrious Ladies of Europe ...
Sincerely,
Le Comte d'Beauphaup
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